Are you searching for "Real Love?"

I have to admit this; I absolutely love Mary J. Blige.  Ever since she 1st came on the scene (for  me) with the song “Real Love,” I was feeling her music.  Now, at that time, I was a Christian.  A “straddling-the-fence-Christian” but a Christian nonetheless.  When it came to music, secular or non, if it sounded good to me and spoke to me, that was it.  Mary J. was it.  Now, allow me to explain.  :-)

At one point in my life, I was “in love” with someone I hoped was “in love” with me.  He said he was (in love) with me.  I believed him.  I wanted to believe him.  I needed to believe him because, again, I was “in love” with him.  He said he wanted to marry me; “put a ring on it” as one song stated, but alas, it wasn’t true.  Oh, he had given me the engagement ring but not the ring.  Well, really, that was my choice, but how could I continue on?  I’ll explain that part later.  So, back in that day, when this song came out, I wasn’t engaged but I was “in love.”  Yes! I thought “real love.”  Listening to Mary J’s song, “...someone to set my heart free...real love…” I truly hoped I had it.  I was never searching for love as her song spoke of but I wanted my heart free.  I knew that song spoke to something deep within me, but I couldn’t really hear where it was going.  IT was restless within me and I couldn’t understand why.  

I was dating that guy.  We said we loved each other.  “Someone to set my heart free…”.  I thought at one point he would love me enough to free my heart.  Free my heart from the pain of the running around with other females that he was “socializing” with.  Free my heart from the low self-esteem that I had developed, because I felt I wasn’t pretty enough or something to make him want to stay faithful to me.  Free my heart from the shame I felt when others knew before me that “....he’s playing you for a fool girl…” as told to me by others.  Free my heart to just be loved by him like I had loved him.  

SMH...wow.  I was a mess.  :-)

I finally and totally freed myself from him though.  I called off the wedding and freed us both.  Later on through the years, I heard the song again.  That time, I really listened to the words.  “Real Love...someone to set my heart free…” and man, it hit me.  My “Real Love” was/is in Jesus Christ.  He sets my heart free.  He loves me unconditionally.  Jesus would never cheat on me.  Jesus would never have me feel ashamed of loving Him.  All that time I was craving the real feeling of that love, when I had it all along.  If I hadn’t been living one foot with Jesus and one foot in the world it would have been apparent to me.  Just like Lisa Stansfield’s song, “ All Around The World” (loved that song as well), she was looking for her “baby” and I guess, in a way, I was looking for mine.  She said she had “...been around the world…” and she couldn’t find him.  Now, I went through all kinds of mess thinking I had “my baby” and I would stick with him when “my baby” was with me all along!  LOL  I’m laughing because if you had seen what kind of a wreck I was going through all of that and the revelation of hearing that song and what it spoke to me, you’d laugh at me too.  Yes, I can laugh at myself now; I couldn’t then though.  It wasn’t funny.  I was a mess.  A wreck.

Know this:

GOD loves us with an everlasting love.  He proved it when He came down from heaven in the form of a man, His Son, named Jesus Christ.  Jesus proved it when He hung on that sinner’s cross, died a brutal death, experiencing the unimaginable pain of it all, then raising up from the dead, retrieving the keys of life and death all for us.  He shows it every day by displaying His mercy and grace towards us when we don’t even deserve it.  He proves it to me in countless ways.  If you want to know GOD’s “real love” for you, pick up His Word in whatever manuscript you can understand: NKJV (New King James Version), AMP (Amplified), EV (English Version), The Message...etc.  Then read the gospels of Matthew, Mark and Luke.  Read Timothy, Psalm, Jude...it’s all there.  Genesis.  His “Real Love” will set your heart free too.  I’m free!!!

A new year. A new you?

So, in a few hours, 2014 will be over and 2015 will be ushered in.  Wow!  This year has flown by.  Have you noticed?  We’ve been through a lot.  If your year has been fruitful without any pain, heartaches, illnesses, any type of trials and tribulations, then you are super-blessed and you should be jumping up and down.  Now, for people like me, we’ve been through but we’ve made it. By that I mean still alive and if you’re still alive, then there’s chance for a better day.  I’ve learned a lot in this year about myself.  I’m stronger than I thought.  I’ve grown in my faith too.  That’s one of the spiritual items on my list that I really wanted this year.  We’ve had a death in the family, step-father, but my mom & I plus anyone else who’s living for Christ, will see him again.  

This year has brought joy of seeing my family healthy like at the family reunion.  Also a little sorrow for a night but “...joy cometh in the morning (Ps 30:5c)” as the scripture goes.   My baby boy was lost last month for one day, but by the grace of GOD (and I knew He would) my Chihuahua was returned to me.  HA! you thought I meant a human child right? :-)  Well, he is my child.  Anywho, this year has been something for all of us.  Some people in my family have been blessed with employment, a home, a car, a new addition to the family be it birth or marriage and whatever else that I either can’t name or don’t remember.  Our health is intact; even those who had to enter the hospital but they’ve entered out better or healing.  Yes, GOD is good.

As you’re reading this, you’re probably thinking about your year.  How has it shaped who you are right now at this moment?  At the end of this year?  Does it make you feel hopeful about the next year? I hope so.

A new year.  New opportunities.  A chance for new beginnings.

A new you?  I hope so.  It’s a chance to be more forgiving (if that’s what you need).  Have a more positive outlook on life.  Look for that “open door” when the other door closes.  Focus more on being a positive encourager for someone who needs it.  It’ll take the focus off of what you’re going through.  Also, what you’re going through will probably give you the answer you need to get out or go through your situation.  I’m just saying.  Commit your life to reading more, laughing more, love more, be engaged more in whatever healthy interest you may have.  Spend more time with family: old, young, in between, all of them...get out and walk.  Enjoy the fresh air.  Take up a sport or a new hobby. Something you’ve always wanted to do.  Volunteer.  Spend more time at your own place of worship. If you don’t have one, find one.  Please make sure it’s legit and not one that will put you in a worse state than before.  Once you do, get more involved.  Volunteer there.  There’s someone there who will value what you have to give.   Get a rescue pet.  Do you know how much they’ll appreciate you saving their lives?  They’ll show you so much love.  You’ll wonder how you ever went on without them.  One more thing, tell GOD how much you appreciate what He’s done for you and your family...or just you.  “What has He done for me?” you may be asking.  Well, He woke you up this morning and all the other mornings, allowed you to be alive, so far, still walking and talking plus you’re reading my blog! OK, I’m joking on that last part but He has allowed you to still be on earth so, there.  

Remember this please if nothing else:  there’s always a brighter day.  A new chance for a new tomorrow.  Nothing last forever.  NOTHING.  As the old quote goes, “It’s always darkest before the dawn.”  Stay in faith or get some.  Be encouraged and Happy New Year!  It will be if you allow it to be.

Don't sweat the Regrets

This is a serious problem that I have dealt with for YEARS and I do mean YEARS.  I’m ashamed to admit it, but, it’s true and everyone deals with it: REGRETS.  It’s an ugly word and a wasteful trait.  

I have to say, I think, I began dealing with this around the age of 30 something...maybe earlier.  What triggered it was just things not going right.  Things not happening or in place as I had imagined it would be.  My sister’s death caused me to regret not going to see her her last day on earth.  I think that if I had, she’d probably still be alive.  I may have been able to talk her out of not going out with her so-called “best friend.”  Yes, God forgive me but I’m still bitter about that.  Later blog for this. I regret the road I took in attending universities or not attending one I should have.  Maybe life would have been better.  I regret the people I allowed to enter my life.  Maybe I would not have been such a fool for them...so trusting...well, one person I allowed because I looked at her as my “little sister” but she only turned out to be...well, I want to keep myself in the right frame of vocab so I’ll just end that.  I just should not have allowed her in.  I allowed men to enter my life (not a lot but even one was enough) who meant me no good.  Ok, so that’s enough of that list (smile).

SO, I sit here, typing away, thinking about these REGRETS.  What do I have to show for it?  Some pain.  Feeling of worthlessness.  Hurts.  Sorrow.  Oh, the list can go on.  Do I allow this feeling to remain?  

NOOOO.

Now, what shall I really do with the REGRETS that appear every now and then?  Here’s my remedy and it has worked for me everytime.  I turn it all over to the Lord.  

In the book of 1 Peter 5:7 it reads that we should cast all of our cares or anxieties on Jesus because He cares for us.  Now, regrets bring about anxiety and worry because we’re thinking about what should’ve been and what we can not change: the past.  Psalm 68:19 (NIV) says to praise GOD “...who daily bears our burdens.”   Galatians 6:2 (NIV) reads that we should “Carry each other’s burdens…” meaning that if we use wisdom, we can help counsel, encourage and pray for our friends, family or acquaintances who confide their regrets to us.  There’s a Christian song with the verse that sings, “Nothing is wasted...in the hands of the Redeemer…”.  Joel 2:25 (KJV) speaks of restoration from the “cankerworm, and the caterpillar, and the palmerworm…”.  GOD can make our “...latter days better than the former…” this can be found in Job 8, 42 (although He was speaking to Job, we can apply it to ourselves); Proverbs 19:20 and on and on.

John 16:33 (AMP) speaks of Jesus giving us “perfect peace and confidence.”  This is what salvation is about as well.  Peace and confidence to know that we have made the most important correct decision ever and that is to choose Jesus and heaven; rejecting hell and Satan’s false way of “living” because if we remain in sin, we aren’t really living but dying. GOD doesn’t want us to harp on the past.  He wants us to look to a glorious future.  He knows the plans He has for us (Jer. 29:11) and if I want to know, I have to stay focused, talk to Him about my thoughts and concerns then see where He takes me.  I know He’ll tell me some things too.  So, if you’re having this problem as well or you’re trying to keep it at bay, talk to the Lord about it daily.  Stay focus on the good things that has happened, will happen and is happening.  As Joel Osteen has said, “Jesus will take you places that you’ve never dreamed of” (if you’re living for Him that is).

Whew! this was a long one.  :-)

Should gifts and possessions come with guilt?

So, yesterday was Christmas as you well know (Merry Christmas to all).  A friend of mine sent me a financial gift and with that I purchased a much desired, drum roll please…ta-da!!! Ninja Ultima Blender!  Now, I had to add a little more to it (which was fine because he sent me a big chunk of it) so now I have it.  I am sooooo happy.  I haven’t used it yet though.  I think next week I shall. I have an idea of what kind of smoothie I’ll make too.  So excited. :-)

Ok, so here’s my thought (which I find myself doing often), why do I feel guilty about being happy with my achieved items?  I don’t worship them; I’m just happy to have certain things like my blender.  Should I be worried that I’m excited about my possessions?  What enters my mind when I feel this guilt is that I know I can’t take it with me. They’re just material items that will one day fade away either by loss of use because it’s broken, someone stole it, you give it away or you die.  

When I think of my death (I have to because one day I shall; we all will) I have a little conversation with myself.  I say to myself, “Who will I leave this stuff to...will they take care of it…?”  “It won’t matter to me who I leave this to or if it’ll be taken care of because I’ll be dead, so it wouldn’t matter anyway.”  “Should I stop buying stuff because I could die today or right now and then what?”  Yes people, these thoughts do go through my head.  I have a lot of thoughts in regards to my death.  The thoughts of how and when but that’s another blog for another time.  It started happening after my sister was murdered.  As I grow older, it becomes more frequent.  I don’t mean to come off sounding sad, this is just me being real.  I’m smiling as I’m typing this so, you know.  It’s all good.

In GOD’s word He speaks of us not holding on to things because it’s only for a season.  We’re suppose to set our sights on things that are “...eternal…” and not on “...things which are seen are temporal…” (2 Cor. 4:18 KJV)  Job said he came into this world with nothing “...naked…” and he’ll return the same (Job 1:21).  I like owning what I’ve worked hard to get and even when I’m blessed through others.  I don’t make idols out of my things but I just can’t help feeling guilty when I get pleasure in using them.  Again, am I wrong?  Has anyone else felt like this?  All I do know and am well assured, is the one possession I have that I refuse to lose, will never throw away and I can take with me is my salvation.  Jesus Christ has saved me from myself and for that I am truly grateful.  He has helped me to have a made up mind to stay with Him and I’m satisfied.  Jesus has sent me the gift of His Comforter, His Holy Spirit and again, I’m satisfied.  Yes, this is one gift that was was purchased for me by the blood of the Lamb, Jesus Christ, and it’s never going to leave unless I want it to.  Give up salvation, not even in my vocabulary.   Again, this is what I can take to the grave and heaven with me.   No guilt there.  Amen.

What about your friends?

Wow!  I have been blessed to have someone wonderful and awesome people enter my life through the years.  Some have left for whatever reasons like moving away (on both of our parts at times), death or just drift away because the designated time had come to do so.  I'm grateful to have had them for however the time lasted.  Others have remained in my life (I believe I can call them "fixtures/lifers") and I'm grateful for them as well.  "Lifers" such as Kim (I have 3 that I can remember; 2 are deceased and I miss them dearly), Cece (hi girl!), Lisa (my cousin and one of my best friends), Sonya (hey!), Carla, James  and oh the list goes on.  I was apprehensive to mention a few by names but the ones I didn't do, well, I know they'll understand and they know I love and appreciate them.  These were just the ones who happened to just pop up.  

Now, people have been of great support and encouragement to me and I pray that I have been to them as well.  This is what being a friend is all about. Being there to listen, really listen and not just offer an unsolicited response, give wise advice when asked, be supportive, be truthful and honest, even when you know it's going to hurt but being a real friend and accepting the truth even though it hurts is part of the territory.  I've had that happen where it taught me to be able to look at myself truly and see if there was some truth in what was being said.  At times it was.  At times it wasn't and I then had to explain, in a much better way, what I was trying to get across or whatever it was at that moment.  Case in point, I had a friend a few months ago tell me something that she thought I had said.  I hadn't said anything in the contrary to the situation she had addressed; in fact, it was her.  During the time of the scenario, when she had actually made the statement, I had asked her what her statement had to do with what I had said to my mom over the telephone at that time.  Now, when she was providing constructive criticism, she was really adamant that I had made that statement.  During our conversation (which had started to get a little heated) somehow, I think, I was able to jar her memory that it was her statement; not mine.  How and why she tricked herself to put it on me is unknown.  Wow, now if we were not really great friends, that discussion could have probably put a dent in the friendship if not ended it entirely.  It was put right but again, it was a little trying on the nerves. :-)

Being a good friend and having good friends means being able to accept and give constructive criticism without any interference on the relationship. 

Being a good friend and having good friends also requires working on the relationship.  One can't know the other if time isn't spent getting to know each other.  That's how it is with Christ.  Jesus desires a relationship with us. That's why we were all created -- for a RELATIONSHIP.  He loves us and He wants to display that love. Well, He does anyway in just allowing us to see a new day and then giving blessings throughout the day seen and unseen.  For example: getting that special parking spot that's needed because you have to hurry and get inside.  Another example:  having your life spared from a terrible car accident a few seconds after you've driven through an intersection.  GOD wants to be our Friend.  In the bible it says He, "...sticks closer than a brother" and to have a friend we must first show ourselves friendly (Prov. 18:24 KJV).  GOD even called Abraham His friend (Is 41:8 KJV).  Why?  Because Abraham spent time with Him.  Abraham trusted GOD too.  This came from a long, long, established relationship. Look at John 15:15 where Jesus discusses Christians being His friend.  The bible has many verses that speaks of being, having and treating friends correctly.  The bible also speaks of ways to discern people who are not truly your friend.  We've all had our share of phony and hurtful Judases.    

Well, this is what was on my heart and mind today.  I was thinking of a very dear friend who's more of a sister to me.   This week I have been thinking of the kindness of my friends and family so, I wanted to share my love and appreciation for those who have crossed my path.  I hope this blog has brought to mind some special people in your life.  I would love for you to share your memories about them.  It does a heart good to recall the kindness and love of others.  

It's Christmas time again...and other holidays

Well, this is my 1st first blog, well, my 2nd attempt at it being my 1st blog (I created one on another site and published it but then forgot to check it ha!).  So with that being said, any errors can be forgiven right? 

It's December 2014 which means, for me, I've been blessed so far to see another Christmas.  I'm missing my family though; those who have gone on.  My sister, Yolanda; my grandmother, Pecola; my uncle, Chuck; my step-father, Bob and more.  The pain isn't as bad but it's there. When people say, "It'll get better as time goes on..." they must not have lost anyone or perhaps it has for them and they're just sharing what they've experienced.  For me, no, it's still here but I'm ok.  My faith sustains me which tells me I'll see them again.  My heart still says that I want them here though.  

I've forgotten the sound of their voices.  That scares me. 

If you're reading this and you've gotten this far, maybe it's because you've lost someone dear to you.  How have you coped?  Have you?  Maybe it's recent so you're still dealing with the newly established pain and I'm sorry for your loss.  My mom has to deal with the loss of her husband as I mentioned earlier.  Hopefully she'll be ok as much as she can be.  My sister's children have always had a hard time of it because she was taken from them at very young ages.  I'll discuss that at a later date.  If you're interested of course. :-)

So, this is going to be a short one (blog).  Again, I'm new to this and I just had this thought on my heart that I wanted to share with anyone who may have the same emotions.  Christmas is a time of joy, hence the "Merry Christmas" sentiment that people express to each other through out the month and it is merry.  Christ came here born of a willing virgin to redeem us (if we chose) from our sin.  He loved us just that much to obey His father, be tortured, beaten, spit upon, lied on, teased and then died on the cross and placed in the tomb for the world. Only thing is, He didn't remain in the tomb. Jesus rose again and is sitting on the right side of the throne next to GOD.  I could go on but perhaps I'll share my thoughts on Him also on a later date.  Who am I kidding?  I shall. :-)  

Thank you for reading my blog and if you have any comments (hopefully nice ones), questions or concerns, please share them.  I'm looking forward to it...a little scared too.  Merry Christmas Everyone!